Children have inherent sin natures.
Does your 2 year old have to learn to hit or talk back? No, it is absolutely natural to them.
By ignoring this fact and "holding space" for disobedience and defiance, parents fail to show their children their need for a Savior.
We ignore the "root cause" of the behavior, which is a sinful heart that needs the Lord.
Sin is any thought or behavior that is contrary to the Word of God or His character.
It is a thought, word, or action that is displeasing to God.
"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." Colossians 3:20
"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
"the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Hebrews 12:6
"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sings and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us." 1 John 1:8-10
BIBLICAL training and discipline is rooted in love.
It is not:
Out of control
Biblical parenting does not equate to robotic children with no room for grace and no understanding of feelings or development. It doesn't equate to parents going around barking orders at their children and spanking them at every turn.
And yes, while children do have sin natures that need guiding and discipling, OF COURSE we aren't telling them only about how they're evil little sinners. We share with them how cherished, unconditionally loved, and valued they are by both us as their parents but also by the God of the universe. Nothing they could EVER do will change that.
We are all separated from God (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23), but He loved us SO MUCH that he sent His perfect, sinless Son to die on a Cross in our place And we can have a relationship with Him again because of that. When God looks at us, he sees us white as snow because of Jesus! This is the GOOD NEWS of the gospel that we share with our children.
"The cross shows us the seriousness of our sin - but it also shows us the immeasurable love of God." -Billy Graham
One thing we've established, and I appreciate the respectful conversations in messages, is that Gentle Parenting and Permissive Parenting are two very different things.
I think many of us have more in common than we think.
At the end of the day - I don't want a label other than follower of Christ.